we're never going home.

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:48:57 GMT

I'm really drunk off merlot, and I'm listening to "B Tone" by Benny Benassi on repeat.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:35:25 GMT

On the Queen Anne's Lace, the shed was slouched heavily; somewhere in between leaning and slouching on a few birches, which reflected the deercoat-dapple of the clouds in the sky splattered with cerulean paint. The birches were reaching out to the infinity of it. The meadow was almost vignetted: the further out you looked, the darker it was. Only the flakey orange paint of the shed was out of place.

Been listen to the Gaslight Anthem all day, for the first time without Gary.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 11:34:53 GMT

I'm going to get a one-bedroom place, and I'm going to have a seperate fridge for beer. That is all.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:45:22 GMT

4 years later and people continue to blame me for things that I did not do. I look kind of homeless these days because I don't maintain my hair (which has a dread now) and all my clothes have holes. Someone broke my shoe the other day but I've still been wearing em. Up da punx.

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:45:16 GMT

I have mono. I can barely breathe, and I can't rotate my neck. at all. I want to cry every time I swallow. I can barely even swallow my own saliva. I've been spitting it into a cup.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 11:21:23 GMT

I have the flu again. My dad thinks it might be swine.
There's a 90% chance that I'm going to miss watercolor tomorrow, ensuring that I failed all 3 classes. I'll probably be on academic probation. I want to leave school for a while...

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 06:31:36 GMT

MortalCorebat 10:25 pm: hey lindsay, i hate myself and edward cullen is the only one who knows my pain

MLIT

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:17:29 GMT

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

(buddy)

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:27:11 GMT

I'm depressed. I need someone to cuddle with. That's it.

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 20:10:49 GMT

Another one of my friends likes me. This is getting ridiculous. It started out as a normal conversation.

imfromkashyyyk 12:00 am
nah
i look way more like a lesbian than you do
segregaytion 12:00 am
i am 50% lesbian
imfromkashyyyk 12:00 am
im 100% lesbian
boom
segregaytion 12:00 am
fuuuuuuuuuuuuu
imfromkashyyyk 12:00 am
scissors all day

imfromkashyyyk 12:23 am
hmm
is everyone as sad as us
ive often wondered if everyone is super suicidal and depressed all the timeimfromkashyyyk 12:25 am
hey im kinda drunk off a combination of perscription meds and like 6 beers
wanna hear something funny
segregaytion 12:27 am
yes
always
imfromkashyyyk 12:28 am
it was me and nick and aaron outside smoking
and nick was like
looked at me super serious
like
imfromkashyyyk 12:29 am
>:-|
HEY
imfromkashyyyk 12:29 am
YOU TRYNA FUCK LINDSAY OR WHAT MAN
im like
whooooooooaaaaaaa wut
imfromkashyyyk 12:29 am
hes like
YEAH YOU BETTER NOT
segregaytion 12:29 am
HAHAHAHAH
WHAT
imfromkashyyyk 12:29 am
then he just went on with like
segregaytion 12:29 am
wtf...
imfromkashyyyk 12:29 am
all this shit about how he was trying to get back with you
segregaytion 12:29 am
um what
imfromkashyyyk 12:31 am
but yeah he came out of nowhere and was like
>:-O
segregaytion 12:31 am
omg i can't believe nick said that
but i kinda can
what did aaron say? was he hella laughing?
imfromkashyyyk 12:31 am
it was pretty hilarious
yeah aaron was laffin his butt off
imfromkashyyyk 12:34 am
idk hes just super like
not protective but whats the word
idk possessive or something
that was pretty much direct quotes
segregaytion 12:34 am
hahahahahahahaha
imfromkashyyyk 12:34 am
he didnt even say like
date or anything
straight to fuck
segregaytion 12:34 am
wow
imfromkashyyyk 12:35 am
i was like whooooooaaaaa whats happening ahahah
he didnt like that i was laughing in his face
but it was pretty out of fucking nowhere

imfromkashyyyk 12:49 am
idk i like hanging out with just alex because hes fat and sad like me
so its like no judgement
and nick is a druggie like i am
so no judgement again
segregaytion 12:50 am
yeah
well i love hanging out when it's the 5 of us
but when it's me and nick and alex
i'm like fuck
fuuuuuuuuuuuck
segregaytion 12:56 am
i like parties with almost no girls
they are way funner
segregaytion 12:56 am
cause girls tend to ruin parties, however unintentionally
imfromkashyyyk 12:56 am
ha idk if there were girls there
i wouldnt have said shit to them anyways
id be like
oh shit girls
i should get more fucked up so i cant speak

imfromkashyyyk 3:00 am
idk im just saying
uhhhhhhhhh
segregaytion 3:00 am
nick hella reads your mind
on the daily
imfromkashyyyk 3:00 am
pretty much
thats why it was so funnysegregaytion 3:01 am
everyone likes everyone in this group
so uncomfortable
imfromkashyyyk 3:01 am
i think everyone just likes you
imfromkashyyyk 3:04 am
youre fucking adorable and you like all the same stuff i like
segregaytion 3:05 am
so what are you trying to say
man this is gonna be so weird
what if i hang out with you, alex, and nick
i'm gonna be so overwhelmed
imfromkashyyyk 3:05 am
ugggggggggggggg
segregaytion 3:05 am
hahahahaha
i'm gonna be like
god damnit
imfromkashyyyk 3:06 am
thats what i wanted to avoid
segregaytion 3:06 am
hella dicks
imfromkashyyyk 3:06 am
i didnt wanna be one of those guys
segregaytion 3:06 am
it's pretty unavoidable
cause i'm around 24/7
hahahahaha
imfromkashyyyk 3:06 am
well yeah i mean i was one
but now
im an official one
segregaytion 3:06 am
hahahaha
imfromkashyyyk 3:06 am
on the radar
fuuuuuuuuuuu
segregaytion 3:06 am
nick totally knew
i bet alex does too
imfromkashyyyk 3:07 am
fuck we should have some sort of olympics

imfromkashyyyk 3:33 am
but it was hard as shit
trying to hide my feelings about you
imfromkashyyyk 3:34 am
because like 8 other dudes that are my frends
idk fuck it
imfromkashyyyk 3:41 am
see
thats why i kept not saying anything
because honestly
idk
ive had a pretty big hardon for you since you started dating nick

WHAT?!?!?!?! D:

imfromkashyyyk 3:47 am
honestly
i was like
tryna hit up jennifer
like
wussup
segregaytion 3:47 am
:o
imfromkashyyyk 3:47 am
but she was like
no

^ hahahahaha.

imfromkashyyyk 4:03 am
idk
the whole time
nick was dating you
imfromkashyyyk 4:04 am
i was suuuuper jealous

then around 5am i was like "okay well i'm going to sleep" because i started to get pretty uncomfortable, since mike was super drunk from a large bottle of cognac. and i woke up with 25 missed calls and 18 aim-to-mobile texts. WHAT THE FUCK? i shouldn't have gone on aim last night. x_______________x

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:30:15 GMT

Exhaustion from 8 hour drive? Yes.
Swollen/throbbing jaw? Yes.
3-week long cold? Yes.
Horrible period? Yes.
Demeaning and ignorant father? Yes.

Today I was almost in tears telling my dad that I couldn't get out of bed because of cramps. Instead of offering sympathy, what does he do? He says "I know women who don't let it get in their way." You try having a period, you fucking asshole.
Great Sunday.

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:20:23 GMT

Over the course of this road trip, Jennifer and myself have become perfect at faking a Bostonian accent.

ANDAHSENZ PEA SOUHP

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:20:46 GMT

I gotta leave at 9:00 this morning, so of course I can't sleep. AWESOME! Good thing I have NODOZ ;)
This morning will commence with being woken at 7:30, bringing Jennifer here at 8:30, and then packing toiletries and electronics. After my dad leaves, gonna smoke a chewy. Then it's time to hit the road until lunch :) Nap @ a rest stop, here we come.
I hope my parents give me money to go out, otherwise Jennifer and I will be stuck in our hotel room with our laptops doing nothing.

Racy days help me through the hopeless haze, but my oh my.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:49:35 GMT

I bought "true auburn" hair dye last night. I think I'm dying it after school tonight. I also got plain earrings for the wedding. My mom would be pissed if I was photographed with a bunch of holes in my ears, 13 to be exact. I hope I actually look good; I've been pretty sick for like a month and I'm starting to develop drug-induced acne. So that pretty much means I have 1 zit. I never get acne. Luckily, I have dresses that keep me from looking like a lanky, pasty, grungy, grimey motherfucker.

I was watching The Outsiders last night. I love that movie.

For some reason, I got extremely tired and couldn't even keep my eyes open by 10:00pm. The plan was to sleep until 11:30pm and then finish writing my story. But then I woke up around 3:00am and checked my phone. I had set an alarm for 8:00am. My half-asleep self decided "fuck your story" and went back to bed. But when I woke up around 3:00am I could NOT fall back asleep. It was almost like something was keeping me awake. Aliens. I've been writing my story for a couple hours. I'm almost halfway through page 3. As long as I have more than 5 pages, I'll be good. About 6 other people have only turned in that amount, so since it's just a draft, I won't lose points. Hopefully. In the meantime, I'll just encourage my addiction to yellow Gatorade and continue sleeping through all my classes.
I probably won't be able to get back to sleep, which is partially good because this story really needs to be edited and I also need to finish my math homework. I'm debating on whether or not to eat breakfast and have coffee with my dad. I probably will, I'm so ridiculously hungry right now.

I've finally gotten used to my claddagh being worn the opposite way. Crown facing in. I hope to keep it that way for a while. I have crushes on 90% of the people I know, but for once in my life I am just going to sit back and do absolutely nothing. I'm tired of always conducting my orchestra. Or maybe I just don't give a shit about anything anymore. This is what experimental Icelandic music does to me.

Stop Sign: Your Katamari is as big as 38 of these!

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:01:21 GMT

Snorting Ritalin is pretty fun when combined with learning new card games and watching friends play Katamari on ps2. It's almost 4am already, but I promised myself I would hitch along with Alex to school, so that I can be forced to work on my short story while he's in class. It'll only be for about 2 hours, but I should get a few things written. My goal is to have 4 pages by tomorrow afternoon.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:28:13 GMT

I've come to the conclusion that not only am I a bitter, lonely, and pessimistic individual, but that no matter how many times I find a new group of friends, they will always continuously leave me out of things and not tell me about it. I have to orchestrate everything in order to keep my feelings from getting hurt. The best part about it? People are too cowardly to apologize to your face. I can't figure out if it's because they're insincere, or because they don't think the apology is important enough to make an appearance.
I slept from 7:30am til about 1:30pm, when my Dad finally decided to come home. He said repeatedly that he would be home between 8am and 9am so that I would have money to go to the Academy of Sciences for Stephanie's birthday. So I was the only one that didn't get to go to that, but I didn't want to anyways, because of a different reason. My dad was fucking yelling at me all day today for a million different things, and I either didn't say anything or became completely enraged and started swearing. He dragged me to the mall after spending 2 hours trying to wake me up even though I didn't feel well, but at least I found shoes for the wedding. I came home, went right back to bed, provoking another argument from my Dad, because my sleeping patterns are somehow his business. After I woke up around dinnertime, I made myself some food and zoned in front of the television, which was acceptable because I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm's finale. Dealt with a couple cowardly hypocrites, didn't buy any crap. Now I'm laughing at the movie Crash because it's really terrible. I'm either going to meet up with the usual people or go cry in my bed some more.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:26:19 GMT

You know how when people flake on you, and then they apologize profusely, and then they do it again? It's just as frustrating as people say it is when they posted Myspace bulletins in 2005, when people still had them.
Party #3 was a success though. We had more coke, some weed and an apple from my tree, and two bottles of 4-buck chuck. It was pretty nice. Alex and Mike just left a little bit ago (to go play WoW at their respective homes, I'm sure), and Anna/Aaron/Nick left around 3am.
There's a collaborative drawing of a skull with a lobster's body, and a really coked out unicorn. My chest is vibrating right now.

EDIT: I didn't have to pay for anything tonight! All those times I paid for stuff in April-May finally paid off.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:22:46 GMT

I'm 93% sure that I should tone down this substance usage. I went to a house rave tonight after going to a party last night, and perched gargoyle-style on a couch arm for like 5 hours, and then drank non-alcoholic beer without even realizing that it wasn't actually beer. My friend (male) was dancing around with a strap-on in front of a strobe light, which might have scarred my soul for eternity. Everyone there was basking in my awesomeness.
Tomorrow's agenda: party #3

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:24:31 GMT

My package came today. :)
Some slouchy shirts cause I don't give a fuck.
Beanie.
Yellow Aviators.
Jennifer's wolf shirt.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 09:13:01 GMT

My birthday was terrible; I spent most of it lying in my bed crying under my blankets and pillows. The only fun that I had was the fun that I made happen, which was to get a surface piercing, which is now causing a black eye.

Did I mention that my entire family forgot about my birthday because my half-sister had a baby at 7:30am? I did absolutely nothing today.

EDIT: Jennifer did take me out to sushi, which was nice.

Here's what I have of my short story so far.

The Land Between Solar Systems
The last dead brown veins of the leaf fell onto Murray’s oxford as he realized that he was not sure where he was going, if anywhere, or how he had just spent five hours wandering aimlessly through the Central Park. It was close to dusk, and the rain had sufficiently dampened his clothes and his emotions. Fall held beautiful colors, but on this particular evening, the rain and fog had changed the tone of the scenery. Beautiful burgundies were now a drab muted maroon, and the striking cerulean of the Manhattan sky was now a lifeless marbled mixture of every shade of grey. Murray needed to go back to his apartment and return to reality, but he was stuck in a cycle of contemplating the world’s meaning and his own. It was like having a Smiths album on repeat while tending to a broken heart. All Murray really wanted at this point was for someone to sing him to sleep. Instead of trying to fulfill this unrealistic yet tender goal, he headed back toward his apartment.
On the way, he felt it necessary to pick up a pack of Pall Malls. He decided on 100s, so that the several awkward seconds after finishing a cigarette that are usually spent deciding on the next activity can instead be spent smoking the rest of the abnormally long pack that he was about to buy. A granola bar completed the corner store purchase, and Murray started on the seven block walk back to his apartment. The rain had subsided, and when he reached his building, he suddenly found his legs refusing to walk any closer to the door. He instead turned in the opposite direction and proceeded to cross the semi-busy street without pressing the walk button. The uneven gravel that made up the two-way street was wet, glossy streaks of neon lights, bleeding in and out of each other as the cars created and destroyed a million different puddles of murky water. The OPEN signs displayed themselves to passersby like an open jar of sweets beckons to an unsuspecting child. After Murray narrowly but apathetically dodged angry cab drivers, he reached the sidewalk pavement of the next block. Canal Street. He had decided that since there were no assignments due (at least that he cared enough to complete), or any other pressing issues on his schedule, that he would head toward York Street.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:46:56 GMT

I want to wake up and have it be tomorrow. This is a terrible birthday and I don't want to be a part of it.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:18:02 GMT

Alright, I don't feel bad at all anymore. It's your fucking fault that Gary stopped talking to me. Thanks a lot for butting into shit that ain't your business.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 08:20:04 GMT

So I invited this mutual friend that came to my party over to my house last night, and he stayed over after getting belligerently drunk. One thing led to another...yadda yadda. No sex, almost though. And then he deleted me on Facebook today. Oops, I'm having really bad luck with people these days! It doesn't really make me feel bad about myself, but it does kinda suck.

P.S. Almost had a threesome at my party. I can't even score at my own party!

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:19:09 GMT

Holy shit, that party was amazing. But now my floor is sticky as FUCK

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:51:46 GMT

FML